In light of the true importance of keeping a stiff upper lip while rolling
in the aisles, I thought the following item might help.
Best,
Tom Bryant.
<Please find below a 1997 version of
the ISO 9000 "Fun" Standard.
Hope you enjoy.
Use the force,
William Stewart
seven@fox.nstn.ca
-------------------------------------------------------
ISO 9000 "Fun" Standard
-----------------------
Document number - 37IWS
Date effective - Today
Owner - Everyone
Approved by - No One
1.0 Purpose
------------
Standards are being written in organizations around the world for
manufacturing, documentation, software development, and other
processes.
However, success and failure in most organizations is most dependent
on employee satisfaction. Employees who describe their work as
actually being "fun" are several times as productive as those who,
for example, describe their jobs as "unrelieved, living hell without
the upside".
This document identifies activities to increase the chances of having
fun in the workplace. Addition of the final ingredient, the actual
"fun" itself, can only be done by you.
2.0 Definitions
----------------
Fun: Consisting of animation, bliss, buoyancy, cavorting, cheer,
chuckles, delight, ecstasy, frivolity, frolicking, gags,
gaiety, gladness, glee, happiness, jests, jokes,
joviality, joy, laughter, light-heartedness, merriment,
mirth, play, pleasantries, quips, rapture, sport,
tranquillity, and witticism.
3.0 Process
------------
The organization shall be predisposed to cooperation, tolerance, and
goodwill.
3.1 Managers will:
-------------------
-- Define their job as an employee of the rest of their organization.
-- Provide all resources required by staff to do their jobs.
-- Mandate attendance at no more than four hours of meetings a week.
Call regular meetings in the late afternoon. Always provide an
agenda.
-- Ensure that progress reports require less than thirty minutes a
week to complete.
-- Place the highest priority on planning to make overtime as
unnecessary as possible.
-- Assign responsibility, authority, and accountability as a single
package.
-- Make a regular practice of MBWA (management by walking around).
-- Have lunch one-on-one with a junior member of the staff at least
once a month.
-- Make it known that promotions will be based purely on merit, plus
proof that at least one subordinate can do the candidate's job as
well as they can.
-- Give credence to bottom-up estimates, refraining from imposition
of unsupported schedules.
-- Provide a feedback mechanism for employees to communicate to the
top levels. Action constructive suggestions.
-- Ensure that marketing positively and realistically represents
organizational capabilities.
-- Share credit for all successes. Take responsibility for all
failures.
-- Implement profit-sharing with all levels of the organization.
3.2 Employees will:
--------------------
-- Place first priority on fulfillment of the goals of the whole
organization, refraining from construction of individual empires
unrelated to business goals.
-- Respect all personnel independent of their area of expertise.
-- Share their knowledge with other personnel.
-- Never employ technical double-talk. Say they don't know when they
don't know.
-- Write documents so they can be understood. Prize brevity. Attain
clarity.
-- Relate to their boss the way they would like employees to relate
to them if they were the boss.
3.3 Human Resources will:
--------------------------
-- Ensure that all personnel receive at least three weeks of vacation
a year. Enable at least three weeks of unused vacation to be
carried over from one year to the next.
-- Facilitate flexible working hours. Allow overtime hours to be
taken in time off.
-- Provide all personnel with adequate medical, dental, and
disability insurance. Repay expenses within three business days.
-- Ensure that jerks, meanies, and evil spawn of slime receive
corrective action, followed by psychological counseling if
required. Unresponsive cases will be allocated to peripheral
groups, where they are unable to do damage to the rest of the
organization, and have to work exclusively with each other until
reformed.
-- Ensure that all personnel receive at least two weeks of training
annually.
3.4 Facilities will:
---------------------
-- Ensure that all personnel can see at least three live plants and
one outside window from their working area.
-- Ensure that bathroom stalls are at least three feet wide, toilet
paper has a roughness level less than plywood, and water taps stay
open at least ten seconds after being turned on.
-- Make printable whiteboards and markers in at least three colours
available to all staff.
-- Provide all personnel with a computer no more than two generations
old, a word processing, spreadsheet, and graphics package, and
email, news group, and world wide web access to the internet.
-- Use only incandescent or full-spectrum fluorescent lights
throughout the office area.
3.5 Support Staff will:
-----------------------
-- Eliminate bureaucracy and interdepartmental turf wars.
-- Facilitate smooth functioning of the organization in all aspects
for which they have responsibility.
-- Shorten cycle times and decrease the complexity of processes.
3.6 All personnel will:
------------------------
-- Strive for excellence and continuous quality improvement in all
aspects of their jobs.
-- Maintain a sense of humor. Voices will never be raised -
occasional laughter excepted.
-- Never promise results that cannot be delivered. Provide
notification as far in advance as possible when circumstances
prevent fulfillment of a commitment.
-- Never spread harmful gossip about other personnel. Maximize
discussion of co-workers positive aspects.
-- Respect all co-workers as human beings of equal value. Be gender,
disability, religion, and colour blind. Never try to increase
their sense of self esteem by decreasing that of others.
-- Refrain from interrupting other members of the organization.
Actually listen to the opinions of others. Change their minds
without hesitation when improved ideas are advanced by others.
-- Refrain from complaining, making constructive suggestions for
improvement instead.
-- Congratulate others at every opportunity. Mention specifics.
-- Erase whiteboards at the end of each meeting.
-- Never come to work with a contagious or infectious illness.
-- Take coffee from the second pot. Make a new pot when the second
pot is empty.
-- Smile at least twice an hour for at least five seconds each time.
4.0 Exit Criteria
------------------
This process ends when all personnel look forward to coming to work
at the start of each day, and leave with a real sense of joy,
self-worth, and achievement.
Failure to have fun will not be tolerated.
This issue supersedes all previous versions, and takes precedence
over constitutions.
5.0 References
---------------
The following references are applicable to this document.
1. Scott Adams; The Dilbert Principle.
2. Norman Augustine; Augustine's Laws.
3. C. Northcote Parkinson; The Law.
-----------------------------------------------------------
|
| - Permission granted to copy, distribute, modify,
| or reuse in any form.
| - Please send additions and requests for the latest
| version to William Stewart at
seven@fox.nstn.ca
|
-----------------------------------------Version1997.2.7---
!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+! Bring on the E-Generation! !+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!
Prof. Thomas A. Bryant, Ph.D.
Faculty of Business, Brock University
St. Catharines, Ont. CANADA L2S 3A1
e-mail address:
tbryant@peregrine.bus.brocku.ca
Tel: (905) 688-5550, ext. 4372; Fax (905) 685-8866.