I'm responding to Chris Pratt & Bob Gately's discussion. This discussion of
feelings is interesting to me. I think understanding one's feelings is a
valuable way for students to figure out what they need to learn right at that
moment. It is the professor's responsiblity to guide the students, by helping
them to understand their feelings, to the learning that the students are about
to integrate.
When I read this discussion, I feel that I may have something to offer here.
Chris Pratt wrote:
>>... A does not want person B to do something,
because A is FEELING that B is doing whatever
it is to negatively impact on A. A emphasizes
how B is making A FEEL...<<
This seems to be a critical point of intervention for the professor interested
in guiding students toward understanding their feelings. A few questions for A
here would be useful:
How does B make you feel this way?
How do you know you feel this way? (to uncover the physiological behavior that
goes with a certain feeling.)
Bob got close to this by mentioning stomach aches, but there are other
behaviors as well, such as lines in the forehead or tightening of a certain
muscle.
When a person becomes aware of these physical reactions, they begin to
understand the feeling behind it.
Bob wrote:
we should be mindful of others feelings and behave accordingly.>
Chris wrote:
>>... So how do you teach this concept.
Is there some simple plain truth about
it, or does it come with my grey hair?...<<
I think the best way to teach this concept is by demonstrating it, and also by
modeling communication that will uncover the basic feeling. I imagine that
Chris has some feeling when the students describe taking responsibility for
someone else's feelings. It is important for the professor to use I messages
and reveal the feeling. For example the professor could say, "I feel "X" when
you say that you are responsible for A's feeling."--and then remain silent
until the students respond. I'll wager that a discussion would ensue.
Bob wrote:
<The best learning experience I had was a stress reduction clinic
that did a good job of explaining the physical reactions to stress.
Once we learn to respond to events rather than always reacting to
events, life becomes easier to understand>
I believe that before reacting to an event, it is useful to understand one's
own feeling concerning the event, and if one decides it would be useful and
benificial, to share the feeling, by using "I" messages, with the other
person.
Am I making any sense to anyone?
Dan Dungan
Bass_stang@msn.com