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  • 1.  Consultancy

    Posted 12-23-1997 00:17
    Bob Ford graciously granted permission to send this along to you. If you
    like it, drop him a line at:

    BOB LORD <willway@ozonline.com.au>
    ______________________
    Great Optimism,

    Dutch Driver
    Abilene, TX
    Hm. Telephone: 915.698.7217
    mailto:ddriver@cs1.mcm.edu

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    Date: Mon, 22 Dec 1997 08:18:46 +1100
    From: BOB LORD <willway@ozonline.com.au>
    To: odnet@tmn.tmn.com
    Subject: ODNet: Consultancy ?

    In the spirit of the end of a year, and with some degree of tongue in cheek

    _The Consultant_

    Of all the businesses, by far,
    Consultancy's the most bizarre.
    For, to the penetrating eye,
    There's no apparent reason why,
    With no more assets than a pen,
    This group of personable men(?)
    Can sell to clients more than twice
    The same ridiculous advice,
    Or find, in such a rich profusion,
    Problems to fit their own solution.

    The strategy that they pursue-
    To give advice instead of do-
    Keeps their fingers on the pulses
    Without recourse to stomach ulcers,
    And brings them monetary gain,
    Without a modicum of pain.
    The wretched object of their quest,
    Reduced to cardiac arrest,
    Is left alone to implement
    The asinine report they sent.
    Meanwhile our analysts have gone
    Back to client number one,
    Who desperately needs their aid
    To tidy up the mess they made.
    And on and on ad-infinitum
    The masochistic clients invite 'em.
    Until the merciful reliever
    Invokes the company receiver.

    So let's not be like those above
    But coach with skill and do not shove
    Solutions of the pre-writ kind,
    On unreceptive, angry mind.

    This poem was actually written for a consultancy I stuggled to lead - some
    two years ago. I now am a 'lone ranger' who derives much benefit from this
    community. For which - thank you.

    Have a satisfying 1998

    Bob Lord