Team Avoidance Tactics
Use these tactics in meetings to avoid being asked to join any other
teams at your work.
> Be late for every meeting and insist that the group review what you
missed. Then leave before the
meeting ends.
> When it's your turn to bring the donuts, bring bran muffins instead.
> Keep inviting other "stake-holders" to "grow the team."
> Say "Well, that's a stupid idea," after each member's brainstorming
contribution.
> Insist that each meeting start with a prayer to budget meisters for
more funding.
> When it's your turn to write up the minutes, invent embarrassing
quotes for all of the other
members.
> Talk loud and fast. Interrupt. Cut people off. Throw things.
> Spill your coffee on at least one other member at each meeting.
> Embarrass non-attentive members by saying to them, "Hello? Anybody
home? Anybody home?
Helloooo?"
> Bathe infrequently.
> Keep reminding everyone of the organization's mission statement. Ask
all of the members to recite it aloud with
you.
> Sarcastically praise every member's contributions to the discussion by
saying things like, "Oh thank you
Phil. That was soooo brilliant. My heart is going all pitter-pat. Thank
you so much for sharing that with us."
> Insist on more frequent and longer meetings.
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|| P.A. Gantt ||
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|| Electronic Media Design & Support ||
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