For me, "L'Chaim" includes the whole life cycle: birth, life, death. In
the circle of life and death, I think of Jack Kornfield, who writes in A
Path With Heart:
"When we consider loving well and living fully, we can see the ways our
attachments and fears have limited us, and we can see the many
opportunities for our hearts to open. Have we let ourselves love the people
around us, our family, our community, the earth upon which we live? And,
did we also learn to let go? Did we learn to live through the changes of
life with grace, wisdom, and compassion? Have we learned to forgive and
live from the spirit of the heart instead of the spirit of judgment?
"Letting go is a central theme in spiritual practice, as we see the
preciousness and brevity of life. When letting go is called for, if we have
not learned to do so, we suffer greatly, and when we get to the end of our
life, we may have what is called a crash course. Sooner or later we have to
learn to let go and allow the changing mystery of life to move through us
without our fearing it, without holding and grasping. . .
"The unawakened mind tends to make war against the way things are. To
follow a path with heart, we must understand the whole process of making
war, within ourselves and without, how it begins and how it ends. War's
roots are in ignorance. Without understanding, we can easily become
frightened by life's fleeting changes, the inevitable losses,
disappointments, the insecurity of our aging and death. Misunderstanding
leads us to fight against life, running from pain or grasping at security
and pleasures that by their nature can never be truly satisfying. . .
"Like Gandhi, we cannot easily change ourselves for the better through an
act of will. This is like wanting the mind to get rid of itself or pulling
ourselves up by our own bootstraps. Remember how short-lived are most New
Year's resolutions? When we struggle to change ourselves, we in fact, only
continue the patterns of self-judgment and aggression. We keep the war
against ourselves alive. Such acts of will usually backfire, and in the end
often strengthen the addiction or denial we intend to change. . .
"One young man came to meditation with a deep distrust for authority. He
had rebelled in his family, understandably, for he had quite an abusive
mother. He had rebelled in school and dropped out to join the
counterculture. He had fought with a girlfriend who, he said, wanted to
control him. Then he went to India and Thailand to find his freedom. After
an initial positive experience in meditation, he signed up for a period of
practice in a monastery. He decided to practice very strictly and make
himself clear and pure and peaceful. However, after a short time he found
himself in conflict again. The daily chores didn't leave him enough time to
meditation nonstop. The sound of visitors and an occasional car were
disturbing his meditation. The teacher, he felt, wasn't giving enough
guidance, and due to this, his meditation was weak and his mind wouldn't
stop. he struggled to quiet himself and resolved to do it his own way but
ended up fighting himself.
"Finally, the teacher called him to task at the end of a group meditation.
'You are struggling with everything. How is it that the food bothers you,
the sound bother you, the chores bother you even your mind bothers you?
Doesn't it seem odd? What I want to know is when you hear a car come by,
does it really come in and bother you, or are you going out to bother it?
Who is bothering whom?' Even this young man had to laugh, and that moment
was the beginning of his learning to stop the war.
The purpose of a spiritual discipline is to give us a way to stop the war,
not by our force of will, but organically, through understanding and
gradual training."
Barbara
Coaching in the river of life
"The only thing certain in life is change, so Dare to Disturb the Universe."
At 2:21 PM -0800 3/10/98, Leon Levitt wrote:
>John Dicus wrote:
>>
>> By Mary Oliver:
>> To live in this world
>> You must be able
>> to do three things:
>> to love what is mortal;
>> to hold it
>> against your bones knowing
>> your own life depends upon it;
>> and, when the time comes to let it go,
>> to let it go.
>>
>> Thanks -- John Dicus
>>
>John,
> Apropos the ending of the Mary Oliver verse you quote above,
>let me refer you to a counter view, Dylan Thomas' "Do Not
>Gentle Into That Good Night" ("Rage, rage against the dying
>of the light"). See also Edna St. Vincent Millay, "I Am Not
>Resigned" (not sure of that title without searching it out).
>The themes are the same. As Edwin Starr sings in "War,"
>"Who wants to die? War -- what is it good for? Absolutely
>nothin' . . . Friend only to the undertaker."
> There is a wonderful old collection put together by the late
>Corliss Lamont entitled "Man Against Death." (He would use a
>less sexist noun if he were to do it today, I think. "Man"
>then was easily accepted as generic for the human species.)
> As we say, "L'Chaim": To life.
>Leon
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Barbara J. Chan
Coach, Consultant & Trainer
510-233-0580
"There is a way between voice and presence where information flows. -Rumi"
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