I hope it would be ok to forward this short posting to the list. (It
sort of fits into the "management," "education," and "development"
categories the list serves, doesn't it?) I can vouce for the veracity of at
least one report (the one in Lompoc, CA).
M.
P.S. Warning: some of these stories are a bit gruesome.
Michael Levenhagen
High Technology Strategy & General Management
College of Business, California Polytechnic
San Luis Obispo, CA 93407
805-756-1563 (off), 756-1473 (fax)
408-456-0704 (hm)
THE 1998 DARWIN AWARDS
For those not familiar with the Darwin Awards, it's an annual honor given to
the person or persons who provided the universal human gene pool the biggest
service by getting killed in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always,
competition this year has been extremely keen. Some candidates appear to
have trained their whole lives for this event!
1998 DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES:
1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.
2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned
when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a 200-foot-high
cliff on his daily run.
3. In Buxton, NC, a man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel Jones,
21, dug the hole for fun and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom
when it collapsed, burying him beneath five feet of sand.
4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor face down.
5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, Army ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20,
was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was
wearing.
6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,DE, as
he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with
four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
7. Also in February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta,
27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in
the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
1998 DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS:
1. In Guthrie, OK, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a
shot from his 22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near
the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, piercing his skull and
instantly killing him.
2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch
and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house. He
died in the flames.
3. Paul Stiller, 47, of Andover Township, NJ, was killed in September, and
his wife Bonnie was injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in
their car. While out joy riding at 2 AM one morning, the bored couple lit
the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen.
Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.
4. In Betulia, Colombia, the annual festival in November includes amateur
bullfighting. This year, dozens of matadors were injured, including one
gored to death following his castration by the bull. Said one participant,
"It's just one bull against a town of a thousand morons".
1998 DARWIN AWARD WINNER:
In Paderborn, Germany, overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant "Stefan" 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
let fly...and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of elephant poop.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a
dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on
a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels
on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
"With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an
hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It
seems to be just one of those freak accidents".