Dear M-E-D people,
We've had quite a discussion recently on the story reported by Anwar
Hasim. I will readily grant that I am skeptical of the authenticity of
the original tale. Then I ran across the results of a 'Dilbert'
contest. It reminded me that (a) outrageous behavior is not restricted
to far foreign shores, and (b) if the items below are real, maybe
Anwar's story really could happen.
A magazine [I've no reference, sorry.] recently ran a 'Dilbert Quotes'
contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their
real-life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submissions:
* -- (This was the winning entry) -- As of tomorrow, employees will only
be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures
will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in
two weeks. -- Microsoft Corporation, Redmond, WA
* What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
-- Lykes Lines Shipping
* How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? --
Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team
* E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be
used only for company business. -- Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat
Company
* This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
important interfere with it. -- Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS
* Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will
believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for
months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's
time to tell them. -- R&D Supervisor, 3M Corp.
* My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only
needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she
couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. -- CIO of
Dell Computers
* Quote from the boss: 'Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.'
-- Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation
* My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When
told my boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the
busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to
Friday. He said, 'That would be better for me.' -- Shipping Executive,
FTD Florists
* We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going
to discuss it with the employees. -- AT&T Long Lines Division
* We recently received a memo from senior management saying, 'This is to
inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject
mentioned above.' -- Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division
* One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a
project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough.
He said, 'If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to
ask for it!' -- New Business Mgr., Hallmark Cards
Jay
--
Jay Warner
Principal Scientist
Warner Consulting, Inc.
4444 North Green Bay Road
Racine, WI 53404-1216
USA
Ph: (414) 634-9100
FAX: (414) 681-1133
email:
quality@a2q.com
web:
http://www.a2q.com
Power to the data!