DISCLAIMERS and QUALIFIERS: While it might be worth a few minutes contemplation,
I suggest this is tongue-in-cheek and following this advice is likely to result
in being on the IRS audit hot list!! And yes I do realize the tax man has a
thankless job to do. Still, it is tax day so a few small thoughts of revolt
might be deemed as appropriate. DD
And here's the humor:
IRS HUMOR
A way to screw with the heads of the people that roam the night...
Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put
them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the
mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right
side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the
right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they
have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and
re-staple it (on the left side).
Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry
before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener
doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or
three party check.
On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars
you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how
small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out
a few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to
be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what its on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like
on the back of a Kroger sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a
single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted
differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to
the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so
the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess. =)
If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners
or the like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to
verified and then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do
with the man. These methods are only recommended when you owe
money.
ICQ #26317826
__________________________________
Great Optimism,
Dutch Driver
Abilene, TX 79605
mailto:
Choragus@email.com
Home Page: http://home.att.net/~Choragus