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  • 1.  Personal Development

    Posted 04-16-1999 08:15
    The Top 10 Things To Ask Yourself & Do Regarding Your Happiness Level

    Happiness is a term with different meanings and levels, depending on who one
    asks. Nobody can expect to be totally happy or content all of the time,
    since some days are simply better days than others, due to circumstances,
    how we feel physically, etc. But we can develop an *attitude* and do things
    to make sure we have the best chance of having real satisfaction with our
    life situation no matter what it is. The following questions can be asked,
    and suggestions are made to boost your everyday mood and to create a healthy
    attitude.

    1. Do You Like And Accept Yourself?

    Pretty basic, yet a big problem for many with self esteem and self worth
    problems. Accept yourself as you are, and do what you can to improve in
    areas you feel need some work. Avoid judgments of yourself and others. Give
    yourself room for mistakes and not being *perfect* in what you do and say.
    If it is a serious long standing problem, get professional help to deal with
    this issue.

    2. Is It Easy For You To Make Friends And To Get To Know People?

    We all need friends and some sort of positive *support system.* The easier
    it is for you to make friends and to reach out to others, the greater your
    chances of a happier and more fulfilling life over time. While everyone
    needs some private time, isolating yourself or being reclusive is *not*
    healthy emotionally nor physicaly.

    3. Are You Just As Happy When You See Someone Else Enjoying Success Or
    Getting Attention As You Are When It Is You?

    The ability to be happy and enjoy other people's successes and seeing them
    in the spotlight shows we are secure and not envious nor jealous of others.
    The more we appreciate and celebrate others happiness and success, the
    greater our chances are of attracting success and positive things for
    ourselves!

    4. Is Your Home *Warm* And Do You Invite Friends To Visit You Often?

    Again, having a group, even if small, of support people and friends is vital
    to a life that's full and complete. Other people give us love,
    companionship, laughter, a sense of connection to the Universe, and other
    good things. Being social and sociable is a sign that you are enjoying life,
    and it is healthy for everyone.

    5. Are You Married, Or If Not, Do You Feel No Deep Frustration Over This?

    Studies show that married people live longer than single people on average.
    There is nothing wrong with being single at all if that is your situation or
    your choice. The important thing is that whatever relationships you are in,
    especially the intimate, close types, that you feel good about your part in
    them, and you are not wrestling with any severe problems or concerns that
    remain unresolved or unacknowledged.

    6. Do You See Yourself As An Attractive And Friendly Person?

    Attractive here means fun to be with, a good friend, kind, etc., and is not
    referring to physical appearance. Remember, you will tend to attract the
    types of people (and their personalities) as you present to others. Being
    friendly to people is simply that. You don't have to be friends with a
    stranger to say hello or excuse me or to open the door for them going into a
    store. A friendly attitude and an attractive spirit and personality will
    create happiness for you and it will attract people who are happy people
    into your life.

    7. Do You Feel That Most People You Meet Like You?

    Again, people who meet you or know you do not have to love you or think you
    are the greatest person alive. What is often an indication of how we feel
    about ourselves, as well as what we are projecting to others however, is
    obvious in how other people respond to us. If people avoid you, something is
    wrong somewhere. If they are friendly and smile and laugh and chat with you,
    that is a good sign you are sending out positive, accepting, *likeable*
    signals.

    8. Do You Make Converstions Easily Without Feeling Anxious Or Uncomfortable?

    Assuming you are not interviewing for an important job, or talking with
    someone with whom you have had a negative past experience, if you feel
    confident and happy and satisfied with yourself and what you have to offer
    the world, talking with people in person will not be a problem. Again, you
    don't have to be very close to the person. It can even be a stranger waiting
    with you for the bus. It simply shows you are feeling good about yourself
    and are accepting and trusting the people with whom you meet.

    9. Is It Comfortable For You To Be In The Spotlight Or To Be The Center Of
    Attention?

    If this is a *yes*, you are comfortable with who you are, how you look, and
    what you have to offer others. You have your opinions and skills to share or
    show or talk about, and you feel fine doing that. This is a sign of a secure
    and self assured person.

    10. Do You Have A Good Sense Of Humor, And Particularly, Are You Able To
    Laugh At Yourself?

    A sense of humor is one of the things people say attracts them most to other
    people. It is vital to be able to laugh with others and also to be able to
    laugh at yourself when you make a silly error or trip on a banana peel
    (assuming you don't break any bones!). Laughter is one of the most powerful
    tools we have as humans to pull ourselves from despair or anger into hope
    and forgiveness. It is a crucial tool to staying physically well, and
    enjoying our own life thoughout all of its ups and downs. Above all, learn
    to laugh and laugh at every chance you get. Life will be much happier and
    you will weather it though the good times and the bad with equal grace if
    you develop and use your sense of humor in all areas of your life.

    ~ Dennis R. Tesdell ~

    About the Author:
    Dennis R. Tesdell is a personal development and self-care coach with over 20
    years of experience working with personal growth and self-development
    issues. He writes a weekly e-zime, "Self Care Weekly" which is read by
    thousands Weekly in 10 countries. Visit his web site where subscription and
    coaching Information can be found at http://www.coachdt.com.

    Have YOU enjoyed it!!!

    Cheers,
    Anwar Hasim
    Jakarta, Indonesia

    Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
    ~ Albert Einstein ~