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Treating toadies

  • 1.  Treating toadies

    Posted 12-29-2003 13:01
    I am wondering why 'professors' can't discern the fear that causes suck-up
    behavior and deal with the suckup in a healing way instead of standing on
    the suckup's neck to look superior and engaging the rest of the class in
    denigrating the unfortunate.


  • 2.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-01-2004 16:04
    It is somewhat disconcerting at such a level of generalisation made in this statement.
    As any good teacher, regardless of level(secondary, HE etc) knows, appropriate
    teaching means scaffolding of the individual student's cognitive processes. There are
    numerous strategies for dealing with this behaviour that do not create conflict, denigrate
    the individual student or slow down the scaffolding process of the individual or group.
    Many students have 'strange' behaviour patterns that are often a manifestation of other
    issues. A good teacher can and will deal with the situation efficiently and effectively.

    The type of behaviour by a teacher that responds in an adverse manner to a student
    behavioural situation would, in my opinion, suggest an issue with the teaching approach
    possibly due to inexperience, insecurity or, in some cases, academic arrogance.
    However this does not mean that all professors, as the writer implies, act in the manner
    stated. Many are caring and understanding professionals, otherwise they wouldn't be in
    the job.

    J. Milliken



    Date sent: Mon, 29 Dec 2003 11:01:22 -0700
    Send reply to: Management Education and Development Discussion
    <MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU>
    From: Jack Ring <jring@amug.org>
    Subject: Treating toadies
    To: MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU

    I am wondering why 'professors' can't discern the fear that causes suck-up
    behavior and deal with the suckup in a healing way instead of standing on
    the suckup's neck to look superior and engaging the rest of the class in
    denigrating the unfortunate.


  • 3.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-01-2004 18:46
    Suck up behaviour isn't always about fear- sometimes it's about trying
    to be subversive and get a mark without working for it. Don't assume
    every suck up is a passive, fearful student. My greatest suck-ups were
    smooth and arrogant- and had soared through school on charm and guile.
    So, no. You don't denigrate them- I agree. But neither do you assume
    they need healing. What they need is a reality check- and the message
    that hard, honest and sincere work is rewarded- not smooth operating.
    Organizations are full of these suck up types who learned that charm and
    manipulation works. They don't need healing they need to be called on
    their behaviour.

    Cheers

    Deborah Nixon
    University of Toronto
    704 Windermere Ave
    Toronto Ont M6S 3M1
    Ph: 416-763-6985
    Fax: 416-763-3361



    -----Original Message-----
    From: Management Education and Development Discussion
    [mailto:MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU] On Behalf Of Jack Ring
    Sent: Monday, December 29, 2003 1:01 PM
    To: MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
    Subject: Treating toadies


    I am wondering why 'professors' can't discern the fear that causes
    suck-up behavior and deal with the suckup in a healing way instead of
    standing on the suckup's neck to look superior and engaging the rest of
    the class in denigrating the unfortunate.


  • 4.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-02-2004 12:30
    Thank you Jack!

    I woke up this morning thinking about this thread and realizing that it
    seemed very disrespectful to put anyone else down based on my perception
    of their behaviour.

    As an educator, I believe that behaviours can be changed (I'd have to quit
    teaching if I didn't). If I think that a behaviour is not appropriate,
    then I need to use some positive strategies to encourage the change.

    As Jack points out, we need to "discern the fear that causes suck-up behavior and deal with the suckup in
    a healing way"

    For me this means supporting positive behaviours and not rewarding
    negative ones while staying supportive of the person.

    What is the message that other students get if we are disrespectful? It
    certainly isn't likely to be loyalty. I'd be cynically on the lookout for
    what was being said or done when I wasn't looking.

    I've also been thinking that some "suckup" behaviour could easily be
    attributable to genuine needs for social interaction beyond the task
    behaviours required by assignment.

    All food for thought as 2004 begins.

    Alice Macpherson
    PD & PLA Coordinator
    Kwantlen University College
    604 599-3040

    "The palest ink is stronger than the strongest memory." (Chinese proverb)






    Jack Ring <jring@amug.org>
    Sent by: Management Education and Development Discussion
    <MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU>
    12/29/03 10:01 AM
    Please respond to Management Education and Development Discussion


    To: MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
    cc:
    Subject: Treating toadies


    I am wondering why 'professors' can't discern the fear that causes suck-up
    behavior and deal with the suckup in a healing way instead of standing on
    the suckup's neck to look superior and engaging the rest of the class in
    denigrating the unfortunate.


  • 5.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-02-2004 16:02
    > From: Dr John Milliken <j.milliken@ulster.ac.uk>
    [...]
    > However this does not mean that all professors, as the writer implies, act
    in the manner
    > stated. Many are caring and understanding professionals, otherwise they
    wouldn't be in
    > the job.
    >
    > J. Milliken

    [JRing replies] I think that imply can be done only by the reader and not by
    the writer. Apparently the good Dr. was not aware of the several posts in
    this thread preceding mine, none of which said anything about all
    professors.

    No doubt many are caring and understanding professionals. To me,
    'professionals' implies that they have clear, measurable criteria for
    success of their profession.

    But even if many are caring and understanding, does that mean to imply that
    ALL are caring and understanding?

    > Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2004 18:45:43 -0500
    > From: deborah nixon <deborahnixon@sympatico.ca>
    > Subject: Re: Treating toadies
    >
    > Suck up behaviour isn't always about fear- [...] What they need is a
    reality check- and the message
    > that hard, honest and sincere work is rewarded- not smooth operating.
    > Organizations are full of these suck up types who learned that charm and
    > manipulation works. They don't need healing they need to be called on
    > their behaviour.

    [JRing replies] If they need a reality check then what do you call the
    motivation that keeps them unrealistic?
    I call it fear, realized or subconcious. What else could it be? Your
    alternative labels are ------- ?

    OBTW, perhaps an ideal behavior is a blend of the honest and sincere work
    plus smooth operating. The either-or view can produce lots of KNOW without
    enough ability to DO. And in the real world it is the smooth that gets
    things done.


  • 6.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-02-2004 17:11
    On 2 Jan 2004 at 14:01, Jack Ring wrote:


    > [JRing replies] I think that imply can be done only by the reader and
    > not by the writer.

    I believe the reader would INFER, not imply. Which brings up a point
    as to whether we should be effective role models for proper use of
    English?

    Apparently the good Dr. was not aware of the
    > several posts in this thread preceding mine, none of which said
    > anything about all professors.

    Any idea what the other messages had has subject lines? I don't
    recall seeing any other messages on this subject prior to...could
    they have gotten lost?


    > [JRing replies] If they need a reality check then what do you call the
    > motivation that keeps them unrealistic? I call it fear, realized or
    > subconcious. What else could it be? Your alternative labels are

    It sounds like it might be worthwhile to travel upwards to examine
    your assumptions here. We all have somewhat skewed understandings of
    the world, and what works and doesn't, and people with the same
    "motivation", as you say, can take completely different actions based
    on what they feel will work or not.

    Isn't it quite possible that some people simply believe that
    "toadying" is a way to achieve their goals? Just as others believe
    asking good questions might?

    Also, I am a little uncomfortable using the kinds of perjorative
    terms in this thread without at least tying them to behaviors, so at
    least we'll have a sense we are all talking about the same things.

    Perhaps that was in earlier messages?

    Robert Bacal - Visit http://articles911.com for over 2,200 work
    related articles
    http://conflict911.com - Conflict Management Resource Center, and
    http://performance-appraisals.org for performance management help.


  • 7.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-02-2004 18:31
    Good posts on this issue. The majority of students are hardworking and
    sincere about earning their marks. But I have experienced both in the
    workplace and in the classroom- as a student and as a professor-
    behaviour which takes a free-rider approach. In other words, I've had
    students who try to ingratiate themselves and then don't deliver. You'd
    like an example. Ok. Last term, a student invited me out to breakfast
    on the first day. In hindsight, I should not have gone but I didn't
    think anything of it. Students often drop by to chat and why not in a
    restaurant. Anyway, it was pleasant and I got to know him. The
    student, however, didn't deliver in terms of effort, studying or knowing
    the material- then was very angry when his mark reflected that. I think
    he felt that by my 'getting to know him' and his detailing all of his
    ideas about business and CEO's and how he knew how they thought- he was
    all of 20 years old- that I would somehow read that into his work. In
    other words, his impression management techniques would help when he
    expressed himself- no matter how poorly.

    I wouldn't do that again because I know he had expectations that his
    behaviour would pay off- and it didn't. I've also worked with people
    who have a thin veneer of knowledge, don't work too hard and charm their
    way up through the ranks. They, of course, need a willing partner in a
    manager who looks for false accolades and adoration. However, it was
    frustrating for all involved who watched it happen and knew that no
    matter what anyone else did, this person would always shine- and ride on
    the work of others.

    I usually don't do much in the way of responding to these students- I
    accord them as much attention as anyone else. And I often ask them if
    we could get views from other students in the class- so that they can't
    dominate. The feedback I've seen on my assessments and those anonymous
    rate your profs websites is always good- and they never fail to say that
    I'm fair. Tough but fair. I take that as one of the important things I
    aspire too. If students think you're fair, then they all know they have
    an equal chance of getting a good grade. And that they also usually
    acknowledge that poor performance is usually do to a lack of effort on
    their part. I'm always available so they know they can come for help-
    and if they choose not to and do poorly- they know where to look for
    responsibility.

    Jack asks what is the fear that causes suck- up behaviour? Obviously a
    fear of failure- but I don't take responsibility for that. Or it doesn't
    have to be fear. Often some of these students come in with a concept of
    entitlement- that because they are there, they should be rewarded for
    simply being. Often, these are students who were indulged in life,
    given little to no consequences and allowed to ride the system. They hit
    university and for many of them, the gravy train stops. Or maybe it
    doesn't- and they get lucky enough to meet profs who need the adulation.
    And the cycle continues into the workplace. I'm not sure- just
    surmising.

    I guess the previous thread referenced was one which I started when I
    asked about learning journals and how one would grade that. There were
    some interesting threads also in Nov and Dec about decision-making- and
    what we should learn and measure.

    Collegially,

    Deborah Nixon
    University of Toronto
    704 Windermere Ave
    Toronto Ont M6S 3M1
    Ph: 416-763-6985
    Fax: 416-763-3361



    -----Original Message-----
    From: Management Education and Development Discussion
    [mailto:MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU] On Behalf Of Robert Bacal
    Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 5:11 PM
    To: MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
    Subject: Re: Treating toadies


    On 2 Jan 2004 at 14:01, Jack Ring wrote:


    > [JRing replies] I think that imply can be done only by the reader and
    > not by the writer.

    I believe the reader would INFER, not imply. Which brings up a point as
    to whether we should be effective role models for proper use of English?

    Apparently the good Dr. was not aware of the
    > several posts in this thread preceding mine, none of which said
    > anything about all professors.

    Any idea what the other messages had has subject lines? I don't recall
    seeing any other messages on this subject prior to...could they have
    gotten lost?


    > [JRing replies] If they need a reality check then what do you call the

    > motivation that keeps them unrealistic? I call it fear, realized or
    > subconcious. What else could it be? Your alternative labels are

    It sounds like it might be worthwhile to travel upwards to examine your
    assumptions here. We all have somewhat skewed understandings of the
    world, and what works and doesn't, and people with the same
    "motivation", as you say, can take completely different actions based on
    what they feel will work or not.

    Isn't it quite possible that some people simply believe that "toadying"
    is a way to achieve their goals? Just as others believe asking good
    questions might?

    Also, I am a little uncomfortable using the kinds of perjorative terms
    in this thread without at least tying them to behaviors, so at least
    we'll have a sense we are all talking about the same things.

    Perhaps that was in earlier messages?

    Robert Bacal - Visit http://articles911.com for over 2,200 work related
    articles http://conflict911.com - Conflict Management Resource Center,
    and http://performance-appraisals.org for performance management help.


  • 8.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-05-2004 14:30
    It is disappointing when a management forum is reduced to a pedantic criticism
    (incorrectly) of an individual's grammar. However to clarify the situation:-

    Imply is from the Latin implicare and means to suggest or express indirectly (i.e. the
    writer)
    whereas infer is from the Latin inferre and means to conclude by reasoning from the
    evidence (the reader).

    With regard to my use of the term many this means a great number of, which does not
    imply, nor should a reader infer that it means all.

    I trust we can now use the forum in the manner for which it was intended.


    J. Milliken

    > From: Dr John Milliken <j.milliken@ulster.ac.uk>
    [...]
    > However this does not mean that all professors, as the writer implies, act
    in the manner
    > stated. Many are caring and understanding professionals, otherwise they
    wouldn't be in
    > the job.
    >
    > J. Milliken

    [JRing replies] I think that imply can be done only by the reader and not by
    the writer. Apparently the good Dr. was not aware of the several posts in
    this thread preceding mine, none of which said anything about all
    professors.

    No doubt many are caring and understanding professionals. To me,
    'professionals' implies that they have clear, measurable criteria for
    success of their profession.

    But even if many are caring and understanding, does that mean to imply that
    ALL are caring and understanding?

    > Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2004 18:45:43 -0500
    > From: deborah nixon <deborahnixon@sympatico.ca>
    > Subject: Re: Treating toadies
    >
    > Suck up behaviour isn't always about fear- [...] What they need is a
    reality check- and the message
    > that hard, honest and sincere work is rewarded- not smooth operating.
    > Organizations are full of these suck up types who learned that charm and
    > manipulation works. They don't need healing they need to be called on
    > their behaviour.

    [JRing replies] If they need a reality check then what do you call the
    motivation that keeps them unrealistic?
    I call it fear, realized or subconcious. What else could it be? Your
    alternative labels are ------- ?

    OBTW, perhaps an ideal behavior is a blend of the honest and sincere work
    plus smooth operating. The either-or view can produce lots of KNOW without
    enough ability to DO. And in the real world it is the smooth that gets
    things done.
    Dr. J. Milliken
    School of Business, Retail & Financial Services
    University of Ulster
    Coleraine
    BT52 1SA


  • 9.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-05-2004 15:21
    I would think that especially among educators it would be useful to discuss the meanings of words. I did not see any "pedantic" interchange. The meanings of the two words are often misunderstood.
    Edryce

    Dr John Milliken <j.milliken@ulster.ac.uk> wrote:
    It is disappointing when a management forum is reduced to a pedantic criticism
    (incorrectly) of an individual's grammar. However to clarify the situation:-

    Imply is from the Latin implicare and means to suggest or express indirectly (i.e. the
    writer)
    whereas infer is from the Latin inferre and means to conclude by reasoning from the
    evidence (the reader).

    With regard to my use of the term many this means a great number of, which does not
    imply, nor should a reader infer that it means all.

    I trust we can now use the forum in the manner for which it was intended.


    J. Milliken

    > From: Dr John Milliken
    [...]
    > However this does not mean that all professors, as the writer implies, act
    in the manner
    > stated. Many are caring and understanding professionals, otherwise they
    wouldn't be in
    > the job.
    >
    > J. Milliken

    [JRing replies] I think that imply can be done only by the reader and not by
    the writer. Apparently the good Dr. was not aware of the several posts in
    this thread preceding mine, none of which said anything about all
    professors.

    No doubt many are caring and understanding professionals. To me,
    'professionals' implies that they have clear, measurable criteria for
    success of their profession.

    But even if many are caring and understanding, does that mean to imply that
    ALL are caring and understanding?

    > Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2004 18:45:43 -0500
    > From: deborah nixon
    > Subject: Re: Treating toadies
    >
    > Suck up behaviour isn't always about fear- [...] What they need is a
    reality check- and the message
    > that hard, honest and sincere work is rewarded- not smooth operating.
    > Organizations are full of these suck up types who learned that charm and
    > manipulation works. They don't need healing they need to be called on
    > their behaviour.

    [JRing replies] If they need a reality check then what do you call the
    motivation that keeps them unrealistic?
    I call it fear, realized or subconcious. What else could it be? Your
    alternative labels are ------- ?

    OBTW, perhaps an ideal behavior is a blend of the honest and sincere work
    plus smooth operating. The either-or view can produce lots of KNOW without
    enough ability to DO. And in the real world it is the smooth that gets
    things done.
    Dr. J. Milliken
    School of Business, Retail & Financial Services
    University of Ulster
    Coleraine
    BT52 1SA

    ---------------------------------
    Do you Yahoo!?
    Find out what made the Top Yahoo! Searches of 2003


  • 10.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-03-2004 10:48
    From: Joseph O. T. Odusanya josepho@help.edu.my

    I am not sure about all these posts, reading them certainly doesn't sound
    healthy. Everyone seems to want to get the last word. The posts only look
    academic, which is fine. Nothing is perfect, however, can't we be a little
    bit gentler with the way we register our disagreements?
    Back to the issue.
    It seems to me that ego is a big issue for many of us teachers and
    professionals (if the pattern of the posts here are anything to go by) and
    we would be insulting the intelligence of our students if we thought they
    would not notice and consequently feed on it.
    Ingratiation, impression management, or more perjorative terms like
    toadying, are facts of life. The ability to understand them, recognise them,
    and even use them effectively is related to what we generally call Emotional
    Intelligence. Many of our colleagues have linked this phenomenon to
    productivity at work and many other neutral varaibles. The environment
    usually prescribes the scope of coping strategies.
    JOT
    --
    Joseph O. T. Odusanya, Ph.D.
    Industrial and Organizational Psychologist/Lecturer
    Center for Psychology
    HELP Institute
    BZ-2 Pusat Bandar Damansara,
    50490, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
    Tel. 603-2095 8791 Ext. 1117; Fax. 603-2095 7100

    deborah nixon wrote:

    > Good posts on this issue. The majority of students are hardworking and
    > sincere about earning their marks. But I have experienced both in the
    > workplace and in the classroom- as a student and as a professor-
    > behaviour which takes a free-rider approach. In other words, I've had
    > students who try to ingratiate themselves and then don't deliver. You'd
    > like an example. Ok. Last term, a student invited me out to breakfast
    > on the first day. In hindsight, I should not have gone but I didn't
    > think anything of it. Students often drop by to chat and why not in a
    > restaurant. Anyway, it was pleasant and I got to know him. The
    > student, however, didn't deliver in terms of effort, studying or knowing
    > the material- then was very angry when his mark reflected that. I think
    > he felt that by my 'getting to know him' and his detailing all of his
    > ideas about business and CEO's and how he knew how they thought- he was
    > all of 20 years old- that I would somehow read that into his work. In
    > other words, his impression management techniques would help when he
    > expressed himself- no matter how poorly.
    >
    > I wouldn't do that again because I know he had expectations that his
    > behaviour would pay off- and it didn't. I've also worked with people
    > who have a thin veneer of knowledge, don't work too hard and charm their
    > way up through the ranks. They, of course, need a willing partner in a
    > manager who looks for false accolades and adoration. However, it was
    > frustrating for all involved who watched it happen and knew that no
    > matter what anyone else did, this person would always shine- and ride on
    > the work of others.
    >
    > I usually don't do much in the way of responding to these students- I
    > accord them as much attention as anyone else. And I often ask them if
    > we could get views from other students in the class- so that they can't
    > dominate. The feedback I've seen on my assessments and those anonymous
    > rate your profs websites is always good- and they never fail to say that
    > I'm fair. Tough but fair. I take that as one of the important things I
    > aspire too. If students think you're fair, then they all know they have
    > an equal chance of getting a good grade. And that they also usually
    > acknowledge that poor performance is usually do to a lack of effort on
    > their part. I'm always available so they know they can come for help-
    > and if they choose not to and do poorly- they know where to look for
    > responsibility.
    >
    > Jack asks what is the fear that causes suck- up behaviour? Obviously a
    > fear of failure- but I don't take responsibility for that. Or it doesn't
    > have to be fear. Often some of these students come in with a concept of
    > entitlement- that because they are there, they should be rewarded for
    > simply being. Often, these are students who were indulged in life,
    > given little to no consequences and allowed to ride the system. They hit
    > university and for many of them, the gravy train stops. Or maybe it
    > doesn't- and they get lucky enough to meet profs who need the adulation.
    > And the cycle continues into the workplace. I'm not sure- just
    > surmising.
    >
    > I guess the previous thread referenced was one which I started when I
    > asked about learning journals and how one would grade that. There were
    > some interesting threads also in Nov and Dec about decision-making- and
    > what we should learn and measure.
    >
    > Collegially,
    >
    > Deborah Nixon
    > University of Toronto
    > 704 Windermere Ave
    > Toronto Ont M6S 3M1
    > Ph: 416-763-6985
    > Fax: 416-763-3361
    >
    > -----Original Message-----
    > From: Management Education and Development Discussion
    > [mailto:MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU] On Behalf Of Robert Bacal
    > Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 5:11 PM
    > To: MG-ED-DV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
    > Subject: Re: Treating toadies
    >
    > On 2 Jan 2004 at 14:01, Jack Ring wrote:
    >
    > > [JRing replies] I think that imply can be done only by the reader and
    > > not by the writer.
    >
    > I believe the reader would INFER, not imply. Which brings up a point as
    > to whether we should be effective role models for proper use of English?
    >
    > Apparently the good Dr. was not aware of the
    > > several posts in this thread preceding mine, none of which said
    > > anything about all professors.
    >
    > Any idea what the other messages had has subject lines? I don't recall
    > seeing any other messages on this subject prior to...could they have
    > gotten lost?
    >
    > > [JRing replies] If they need a reality check then what do you call the
    >
    > > motivation that keeps them unrealistic? I call it fear, realized or
    > > subconcious. What else could it be? Your alternative labels are
    >
    > It sounds like it might be worthwhile to travel upwards to examine your
    > assumptions here. We all have somewhat skewed understandings of the
    > world, and what works and doesn't, and people with the same
    > "motivation", as you say, can take completely different actions based on
    > what they feel will work or not.
    >
    > Isn't it quite possible that some people simply believe that "toadying"
    > is a way to achieve their goals? Just as others believe asking good
    > questions might?
    >
    > Also, I am a little uncomfortable using the kinds of perjorative terms
    > in this thread without at least tying them to behaviors, so at least
    > we'll have a sense we are all talking about the same things.
    >
    > Perhaps that was in earlier messages?
    >
    > Robert Bacal - Visit http://articles911.com for over 2,200 work related
    > articles http://conflict911.com - Conflict Management Resource Center,
    > and http://performance-appraisals.org for performance management help.


  • 11.  Treating toadies

    Posted 01-04-2004 07:13
    deborah nixon wrote:

    > Suck up behaviour isn't always about fear- sometimes it's about trying
    > to be subversive and get a mark without working for it. Don't assume
    > every suck up is a passive, fearful student. My greatest suck-ups were
    > smooth and arrogant- and had soared through school on charm and guile.

    Me too.

    >
    > So, no. You don't denigrate them- I agree. But neither do you assume
    > they need healing. What they need is a reality check- and the message
    > that hard, honest and sincere work is rewarded- not smooth operating.

    Amen! My worst case was a student who almost alternated class attendance
    with a friend, then requested a meeting with the dept. head to understand
    why he received an F for the class. He was absolutely (on the 'face' of
    it) astounded to discover that he had attended 7 of the 14 times I took
    attendance. He also was taken aback at the documentation I provided on
    attendance and quiz, homework, etc. grades. Dramatic change in attitude.

    Apparently, he felt other people treated everything in the same
    'connections & oily charm' manner that he did.

    >
    > Organizations are full of these suck up types who learned that charm and
    > manipulation works. They don't need healing they need to be called on
    > their behaviour.
    >
    > Cheers
    >
    > Deborah Nixon

    --
    Jay Warner
    Principal Scientist
    Warner Consulting, Inc.
    4444 North Green Bay Road
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    USA

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